Coke: Real Magic
If there is anything you’ll learn about me real quickly is that I love Coke. No, not booger sugar, but Coca-Cola. It’s my earliest, happiest memory and one of the most consistent things in my life.
Coke is just great and easy. Aside from that conspiracy “New Coke” they came up with way back when to steal back their sales from Pepsi, Coke has always tasted great. It’s one of the few simple joys I have in life that I can count on to always be there and always be great. All I have to do is pop open a can and enjoy. How many things (or people) in life can bring you happiness so effortlessly?
And it’s not that drinking Coke comes without its consequences. People’s incessant opinions will almost always immediately spill out the moment they see you with another Coke in hand. There’s an understanding when you’re a Coke fan, that you’ll never be spared the oh-so-thoughtful advice and trivia (trivial advice?) like: “Do you know what that does to rust?” “Do you know how much sugar is in that?” “Do you know how much that used to go for in the 80’s?” I kid, but seriously, although I know Coke isn’t the best for me (and it comes with unsolicited advice), I drink it because it makes me happy. Happiness in a can, consequences be damned. Everyone has a vice, let Coke be mine.
I mean let’s get real for a moment. Coke is a staple. It’s the moment. It’s Pop Culture. It’s world-wide like Pitbull. Coke has been in everything from music to movies to even poems (Having a Coke With You – Frank O’Hara). Hate it or love it, you are sure to recognize that glorious red soda can anywhere in the world and when you do, it feels like home. Doesn’t home feel nice?
Ohh, I want you, I don't know if I need you...
But Coke isn’t acting pretty “homey” (pun intended) and as a matter fact is acting pretty “lamey” as of late. As I sit here and listen to “I Want You by Savage Garden”, it’s sad to me that I can’t defend Coke like I always do. After having defended it against its many odds like parents, friends, co-workers, busybodies and all the many, many hating mofo’s trying to steal one of the true joys in my life…I can’t defend it from this. As much as I would like to raise my Coca-Cola glass and middle finger up and ask people to go “f” themselves and drink their water in peace, I have to put my glass down.
I can’t defend Coca-Cola (yes, your full name, that’s how mad I am at you) and it’s take on DEI. Although it seems it’s backpedaling due to sales dropping, it’s still rather ridiculous it even considered retreating from this initiative. I mean I’m glad Coca-Cola has returned to its senses, but this and so many other companies need. to. wake. the. f. up.
Literally stop trying to kill and segregate your own consumers and employees. Stop trying to make your s*** even more unaffordable. Stop underpaying your employees. And stop overall just being inhumane. It really is that easy to stop being Lex Luthor.
Instead, could you give us all a helping hand and a chance to breathe?
Please.
I think what you’re all taking is a lot more than what we’re all getting. Just saying. Give us a reason to stop boycotting all the convenient and cool stuff you have to offer and let us co-exist in harmony. I mean maybe we should return to old-time bartering like my nail-tech told me yesterday. (Shout out to @Nailsavvy. Check out her IG).
In the end, Michael Scott had it right all along.
"A good manager doesn't fire people. He hires people. He hires people and inspires people. People, Ryan. And people will never go out of business."
So yes, despite having been a loyal fan for many, many years, I too can still dissociate, stop, and think for a moment and ask myself: Do I really want to support people who don’t support people?
I say no. Let’s not allow corporations to direct our lives, no matter how cool their s*** can be. We’ll be okay. Some other cool small business will either have it or create it soon enough. Either way, I know we’ll get by. We already have so many other directors yelling at us what to do everyday..why add another?
Stand by people, Ryan, not things. People.
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