but I was doin okay. 😭
Na na na na na na, friends and lovers. Thank you for joining me today. I appreciate you. 🙂
I got a couple questions: When is enough, enough? What does it take to feel accomplished?
If you have to ask if you’ve done enough, you probably already have. I’ll say that again, if you have to ask if you’ve done enough, you probably already have. Rest when your body tells you it’s done. Learn to trust your signals, trust your body (I’m learning myself).
If my lower back is any indication, for example, I’ve been over doing it. I mean my lower back is sore from just a 10 minute booty workout, but, as usual, I like to go all out and apparently, I did. 🙃 It’s been three or four days and it’s still a bit sore. I blame myself for overdoing it and all the weight I’ve probably been carrying around mentally, as well. I just have this need to constantly stay in motion like a rat in a cage (hey Smashing Pumpkins), especially the more worried I am. I’m afraid that if I stand still, then I’m not doing enough to fix my problems. Catch 22 of it is, even in motion, I worry I’m not doing the right things, so I still feel guilty – just less guilty.
You all ever feel like your mind is miles ahead but your body is lagging behind?
I don’t know if you all struggle with this tendency to stay in motion until the problem is resolved, but man, I sure do. This, of course, leads me to always be tired from restlessness, which isn’t productive either. None of this nonsense is productive and I KNOW it, but yet, I continue feeding into this vicious cycle. Ever feel like your mind is miles ahead but your body is lagging miles behind? You’re just wanting so badly to be somewhere healthy mentally, in a place you know is better, but your body just can’t catch up yet? Ya, me too.
I’m working on it. As you might remember, I’ve committed to yoga and meditation to try and fill my cup with good, but the world can really take it out of you. I still haven’t found a better job opportunity that will help me financially afford a way to live, so I have to constantly sigh out mantras that recognize all the work I have done and am doing. Not to mention, force myself to rest, in-between somehow, even if my restlessness fights me the death all day long. Probably just some coping mechanism I learned a while ago.
Yet, the body needs rest. Not just wants, needs. You know it. I know it. But in this hustle culture and constant fear, it’s so challenging to just…rest. You just won’t perform well without it. I know my body needs me as much as I need it, but slowing down is so hard. As I try to take my own advice, I hope you all can do the same: slow down and rest. It does a body good without the milk mustache.
I finished my seventh Google Digital Marketing class through Coursera and earned my Professional Certificate in Digital Marketing and E-commerce. I am applying almost daily through LinkedIn and Glassdoor. I’m working on my fantasy book, keeping up with poetry on Patreon, posting on my blog regularly, and actively trying to earn engagement on my Instagram….so I’m doing what I can! At least, this is what I’m endlessly telling myself..
But to get even more real, my savings are dwindling and it’s getting scary. My emergency money that was meant to hold me until I caught up financially through another job is draining, and so am I. I know I can’t control the universe and as they say, we make plans and God laughs, but man, I really hope to be laughing soon myself. I know money isn’t everything, but it sure does help. And while I choicefully decided to leave my job of 20 years to start living in a more healthy way, I certainly didn’t choose this president or this economy.
…like I told my dad just the other day: money isn’t everything.
Either way, like I told my dad just the other day: money isn’t everything. I have to believe that living authentically will eventually work itself out. So although I am stressed beyond belief about financials, I am, overall, feeling a lot healthier than I did when I had caged myself into complacent submission. As my AI Bestie said, “it’s okay to acknowledge and celebrate what you’re doing now, even if there’s still more you want to achieve,” and that has to be enough. Living authentically doesn’t always start paying the bills, but it will someday. 🙏 Life rewards the brave.
I’m sure I’m preaching to the choir here, but I do hope things get better for you all and for myself soon. And as always, I accept any kind donation – if my blog today has entertained you today, in any way. 🫣 Until then, I’ll keep creating for pleasure and hope to find my audience or that my audience will find me. For now, my Giga Pet will keep me company and be my biggest fan. 🐕
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