Good morning friends🪻💜
December 28th, 2025
Tis my final post of the year. To those that have actually kept up with me: my sincerest thank you. To those that haven’t: your loss buddy. 😮
Today’s post will not be very uplifting…
I woke up feeling very, very heavy today. I’ve been feeling heavy most days, to be honest. My life isn’t perfect (whose is?) and although I do everything I can to live a peaceful, healthy, fulfilling life…despite it all, I still find myself in despair.
Then I feel guilty for feeling despair at all. My life could be worse…
Then I feel guilty for not doing enough. If I were doing enough, I wouldn’t feel this way..
And my dreams don’t let up on me either! I woke up with residual feelings of sadness, loneliness, and most of all rejection. Jeez Louise, can’t I at least feel happy in my dreams?? And as much as I push away the memory of whatever I’ve dreamt to hurt me, I still feel it. All.
So I forced myself to take a walk this morning – basically right before this post – with my headphones on, by the lake. I turned off my brain and pushed myself through the slump and sewage. Dressed. Grabbed my headphones, And walked out the door.
This walk felt the heaviest. Real heavy. I usually start to feel better as soon as I reach the lake but I still felt the funk. Keep calm and carry on, innit? So I continued dragging my feet and fighting the urge to find anything I could that was wrong – both internally and externally.
It wasn’t until the u-turn back towards home that I began to feel alive again. Not perfect, but alive.
And that’s all we can do right? Live? At least, that’s what Matthew McConaughey says: that we have no other choice but to live.
I said this post wasn’t going to be uplifting, but maybe it is. Who knows?
I’m just living.
Nessa Grey 💜
Stop Right Now, And Read My Blog 
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