Good morning lovers🪻💜
February 15th, 2026
How wenth your Valentine’s Day? Mine wasn’t too shabby. My boss didn’t come in to work, so already, there were things to celebrate, but whatevs. I try to have a good day every day. Despite others. When possible…
Take the internet for example. I’ve molded my algorithms in such a way that they generally offer me peace. With the 1% share of control over what appears next on my screen, I choicefully sift through the jungle of content and attempt to exclusively fill my time with: comedy. encouragement. creativity. light. and anything else that will help me feel ✨️good✨️ stay ✨️good✨️ I use my small influence to avoid engaging with pop up goofball comments/posts that help me lose my faith in humanity – when the 99% is clearly driving the algorithm wheel. No, instead of falling prey to Pac-Maning whole hours of the day by doom scrolling and then easily eating ghosts as I free fall down a rabbit hole… I try to keep awareness. I try to remember I can avoid getting infected with a bad attitude by staying present and exercising some of the choice I have in what I absorb and will later digest – i.e. by scrolling or shutting off my phone on sh** like that. Bat sh** crazy ghosts that help me lose faith in humanity don’t stand a chance against my quickdraw fingers. I ignore what doesn’t work and keep what does. Because I can. Because I want to. Because I’m present enough (sometimes) to choose what to fill my space with and I choose that which will help me feel my ✨️best✨️ And why wouldn’t I? Avoiding what we digest in real life, however…
Holding on to a good day IRL is definitely much, much harder though – IRL others are harder to ignore. Because you can’t just shield yourself in your house forever, unfortunately… No IRL, most of the time, no matter what steps you take to protect/remain/exude peace – or how many cokes you drink or yoga practices you do – once you engage with another human being, odds are the probability of remaining happy will significantly drop. That 1% of control really feels like 1% IRL, don’t it? The problem is, in IRL when you’re speaking to a blackhole of a person, you’re pretty much stuck. Most of the time. There, you can’t just swipe away from their horribleness because you’re in a deadbolted chat room with end-to-end encryption. In other words, IRL, we can’t simply weasel out of speaking to selfish d***less motherfudgers, but are forced to, instead, deal with it. 🤮 Unfortunately, as of yet, there is no IRL anti-virus, pop-up blocker, or firewall strong enough to help you avoid engaging with these motherviruses. I mean I did say I try to have a good day “when possible”, so this must be the impossible part, right? I mean in IRL, it certainly seems like there is nothing we can do to stay at peace. Right? I, sure as hell, haven’t mentioned any solutions.
This is what I do, Sue, to hold on to some semblance of peace when engaging with others in real FaceTime: I scroll – but mentally this time. I scroll away from any and all annoying turd nugget NPCs during moments of engagement entrapment. I mute myself entirely. You turn me off like a Light Switch… In unavoidable, inescapable situations, I shield/dim my actual personality and put on the most unreadable face I can muster. I become my own FBI agent in my own conversation. As these mean, insecure, selfish, bitter people approach me to talk at me and/or infect me with their dusty hate, I have my away message on. While they’re busy yappin’ up a storm about God knows what, I’m answerin’ in bot …as I traverse the mental sidewalk of my happy place… miles and miles away from them and their awful drab. My peace untouched. Unscathed. Ish. *le sigh* They can’t hurt me if I’m not there silly 🐇 .
P.S. Yes, I do believe it is called disassociation. I know. Or the best defense mechanism I can suggest for these insufferable situations ATM. You decide if you take my advice buddy.
But wait, there’s more – benefits! Aside from disassociation becoming your pain shield, it also prevents you from falling victim to one of the classic symptoms of engaging: reacting – and usually in a counterproductive way. So why make a bad situation worse? Disassociating and scrolling are almost the same thing. Who knew?
So screw it. Yep, I disassociate. I disconnect. I choose to disengage from that which I find harmful and try to consume mindful, cool sh** instead. Because I want to feel good. Because I want to have many good days Gosh darn it, and so far this selective system has brought me closer to that. To a life that is healthier, more peaceful, and even easier if not perfect – so I am not complaining.
But I also try to keep in mind that dealing with haters – online or IRL – is only temporary. I remember, despite how painfully exhausting or even draining it can be to interact with evil others, that I only have to curve and swerve these dummies and their tantrums for now. For eventually, there will come a time when these intolerable dumdums will become a distant memory or even a lost one; so who cares about them anyway. Phooey to them, my life is still just building. My permanent, real tribe has not truly formed yet and that’s okay. This group will certainly not form a part of it. Hell no…
So fill your cup with good. Fill it high with whatever makes you feel like your most peaceful self. Most peaceful you. This way when another fun day of adventures with not-so-nice-people comes along…you can bravely dissassociate from the haterade because you’re fueled and anchored. Anchored in power. And anchored in patience. This annoying conversation has an expiry date and you have enough in your tank to deal with it. The higher your cup can be filled every day the better if you ask me – especially lately. (My mental cup, not a glass of vodka you drunkies…)
Life is one large algorithm. You semi have control of your environment, but not really. We’re all just trying our best to pluck and pick and choose dots that will hopefully connect us to something that feels good. Feels like home. Feels like us. But our 1% say does not always have a say in this, dolls. Newsflash, we don’t always get to decide what happens next. Yes, I just said that. Deal with it.
My point is – if there is one – that all we can do is our best. Our best to make decisions that will allow us to live a purposeful, fulfilling life…but please also understand, we don’t have control over everything. Most times anything. So understand that this also means despite our choices – good or bad – that our day and even our life – good or bad – aren’t entirely our fault. So free up some guilt. But…
Remember you are allotted some input. So use it! Sooner or later the effects will show up in your life and you’ll be so happy you decided. You’ll feel so content and full at your own influence, your own power over your own life, it won’t matter when you have to cede some of it to troublesome fools or troublesome situations. You’re locked in. You’re anchored in yes. Our meager % of control might be small, but our day is still that much brighter because we act with awareness, with control. We express our will. We feel alive. …which helps with difficult people, because we know what they don’t: the day is still ours. We got that s*** handled everywhere else that counts, so let go of some of our power for now because it will boomerang right back later. So just save it. Save it for when we’re back behind the wheel, when it counts – which we know will be soon. 😏
I think, if 1% is all we have, shouldn’t we at least use it? Hopefully daily.
And maybe, maybe it’ll grow to be a little bit more than 1%.
Maybe, maybe, maybe you’ll work in tandem with the 99%. At least, at times.
Control what you can control, my fine fellows and fellowettes. Feel choice. Feel freewill. Feel alive.
Let the Universe know you’re here, so you can exist with it not without it.
Here’s to more good days. Despite others.
💜
Nessa Grey
P.S. Farmer’s Market photo dump.
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