Stop Right Now, And Read My Blog

I have probably and most absolutely certainly have been going through an existential crisis. There could be one or a million reasons why it was triggered, but I distinctly recall when it started…

It’s actually kinda stupid, but I read a “quote” online from Charlie Puth about where he believes music or even creativity comes from and it shattered me. He said he believes music, songs have always existed and that we’re more or less plucking the melody from the air. I hate that.

I hate that.

To me that feels like we have no control, no autonomy over our own story. To others, that might be appealing because it means they can’t mess up what already exists and they know their finished creation is out there, but to me that means I have no say over what I make because it’s been already made. I mean…what?

So my book, my poetry, this blog isn’t mine? Isn’t me? I’m just a fine-tuned vessel that’s been programmed? I can’t sit with that…

Now obviously, I don’t have all the answers and I’m sure Charlie Puth doesn’t either. I also know I’m not expected to know the answer and may never learn it, but that’s okay because I have ideas.

I’d like to believe that objectively we have 1% control over what happens but subjectively we have 99%. Our inner world, our perspective dictates our outer world. In other words, by the power of Grayskull: WE HAVE THE POWER! I refuse to believe that we don’t.

I truly want to believe we all have the power to write our own story. Fate, the Universe, Mother Nature will gently or not so gently guide us, mentor us to find our alignment, but the pen is in our hand. Aside from our baseline traits and of course our environment (Nurture), we have the fluid power to move however we like if we don’t try to rigidify ourselves into boxes.

Anchors are important. Grounding is important. But I think we cage ourselves if we lock ourselves into beliefs – as the theme of Dogma goes – if we don’t classify our thoughts and feelings as ideas rather than unmoveable structures.

So I have an idea: we are born with a baseline, and the rest of our lives is shaped by the world’s objective influence and our own subjective takes. But ultimately? We choose our lives. We got the power. Snap!

Nessa Grey 💜 🩶